


A Bittersweet Realization

by Wesakechak



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion, Rebuild of Evangelion | Evangelion: New Theatrical Edition
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Asukyu - Freeform, F/F, Gen, Post 3.33, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-09
Updated: 2017-02-09
Packaged: 2018-09-23 03:07:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9638342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wesakechak/pseuds/Wesakechak
Summary: Kyu has noticed that Asuka has been avoiding her for the past few days.For both AsuKyu and Valentines Day.





	

Kyu Ayanami shifted uncomfortably in her seat. The AAA Wunder, despite it being one of the most advanced achievements in the world, was not built for comfort. The bare metal seat that she sat at was a testament to that. She theorized that it was an intentional design, the metal not allowing whoever was on the bridge to get comfortable as they stared at their monitors. Along with the issue of the chair was her own memories. The dark lighting and lingering smell of LCL that flooded the bridge when the Wunder engaged in combat reminded her of being back in the seat of her Mark Nine Evangelion, as did the monitor in front of her. She still had idle fears, Sakura called them daymares, that the monitor would flash red, the data on screen being replaced by the symbol of SEELE. That she would be powerless once more 

Yet the monitor in front of Kyu was displaying its regular information. On the screen was a 3D model of the Wunder and its immense AT field that kept the support fleet from falling out of the sky. She had been tasked with ensuring that it did not show signs of collapsing, as well as searching for anomalies that might signal an attack by NERV on the ship.

As it had for the past month since she had been assigned the position, there was nothing out of the ordinary or expected. The Wunder’s AT field fluctuations were within the acceptable limits, and if they did drift out of acceptable limits there was a warning system that would inform her so she could in turn inform the captain, who was standing on a raised platform above her. NERV hadn’t shown themselves to WILLE since the battle of Fourth Impact, something that Kyu was thankful for. It had given her time to adjust to living on the Wunder with Asuka, and for WILLE to regroup and prepare for the next move. That involved making a move towards the resurfaced Black Moon.

With one final check over the important sections of the Wunder’s AT field, her eyes drifted to the lower part of the screen. Below the Wunder, an Eva paced the wasteland in preparation for whatever would appear at the Black Moon. The AT field produced by the redesigned Unit 8+2 was relatively tiny compared to the Wunder itself, but still distinct. While the Wunder’s AT field was consistent, hardly changing so as to keep it as stable as possible, the Eva’s AT field rippled and fluctuated every second in accordance to the emotions of its pilot. Kyu continued to watch it, attempting to determine which of the two pilots was controlling it at the time.

Kyu concluded that it was Asuka piloting as the AT field from the Eva flared up, starting to push up against the Wunder’s. The disruption was minor, and though noticeable on her screen she doubted that it would affect the fleet’s position surrounding the kilometers long vessel, or the Wunder’s own ability to remain aloft. At the same time there was a small beep from her monitor, informing her of the disruption. She glanced up, meeting the eyes of the captain. Misato was looking down, waiting for an explanation of the beep. Kyu noticed the bridge had gone nearly silent.

“It’s just our Eva.” Kyu said out loud. She felt the entire bridge staff shift their gazes towards her. Almost unanimously they were hostile, distrusting. The feeling of uneasiness return, and returned to looking at her monitor, trying to ignore them.

“Understood.” Misato responded. “Communications. Get in contact with Pilot Shikinami and inform her that she should control her temper.” She ordered. Kyu heard an ‘aye’ from across the bridge. Kyu frowned as the Eva’s AT field continued to fluctuate on her screen, no doubt reflecting its pilot’s own mental state. Something was distressing Asuka. And there was nothing that Kyu could do right now to comfort her.

“She seems pretty pissed at something.” The communications officer told the captain a few seconds later. “Though that’s expected from her.” Kyu bit her tongue at the tone of the remark, wanting to speak up in defense of her friend, but knowing that in doing so she would only make things worse. Asuka had a lot to be angry about. Kyu had seen as much in the three months since the two had met. She quickly went through a list of what she knew had been troubling Asuka recently, the things that that they had talked about late at night before one of them turned the light off to either reflect on what they had said or shut down the conversation.

She could not recall doing so recently. Asuka would already be asleep when she finished her shift on the bridge, or she would not be in their small cabin when Kyu arrived, and no matter how determined she was to stay awake, she would fall asleep before Asuka arrived once more. The AT field from Asuka’s Eva continued to shift around on her screen, and Kyu sighed. Perhaps Asuka was avoiding her. Asuka got annoyed with everyone, and Kyu knew she was no exception. A few questions that Kyu had asked in the past were labeled as especially stupid by Asuka and had caused her to get frustrated. There had also been a few occasions that Asuka had gone to reject Kyu’s offers of affection. Being the last person that Asuka would see, Kyu had also experienced Asuka vent at her on occasion, sometimes verbally lashing out at her. Asuka was quick to apologize the next morning in those situations, knowing that she was being unfair to Kyu. It was also something that Kyu knew Asuka was trying to stop altogether.

Asuka’s recent avoidance was something else though. Kyu quickly hypothesized that because Asuka hadn’t been apologizing, she had some justification to be avoiding her. Which meant that she thought that Kyu had done something. Kyu closed her eyes and reviewed the past few days in her mind, trying to find what taboo of Asuka’s she had broken. None of Asuka’s obvious taboos, such as asking about her eye or apologizing to her about things that weren’t under their control, came to mind. Unless there was some little thing that had made Asuka feel slighted, she concluded that Asuka was simply tired of her.

The thought made Kyu’s throat tighten. It was an outcome that she had asked Asuka about, whether or not Asuka would grow tired of her and leave her behind. At the time, Asuka had laughed at the question, gently guiding Kyu into a hug and promising that that would never happen. Yet, as she had observed in her time on the Wunder, people changed their minds all the time.

The realization stung. Asuka had been supportive of her since they had met. A smile crossed her face as she remembered Asuka’s words to her. Though she had meant them dismissively, they had awoken something in Kyu. What did she want? She had wanted to live. She had. She had wanted a name. Asuka had bestowed one on her. She had wanted to stay with WILLE. Asuka had threatened to leave if they didn't take Kyu in. She wanted to repay Asuka for all she had done for her. Yet now Asuka didn’t want her anymore, even if Kyu did.

Kyu felt a hand on her shoulder, and snapped back to reality. She whipped her head around to see who was touching her. A young technician, who Kyu only vaguely knew as her counterpart on the night shift, stood behind her, an almost frightened look on the woman’s face. Kyu looked around, seeing the other crew members were also being relieved. Apologetically, Kyu smiled and stood up, the woman taking her spot.

“The night shift is going to handle recovering Unit 8+2. That means you’re dismissed.” The captain barked, lowering the central platform from its position in the centre of the bridge and disembarking. The rest of Kyu’s bridge crew trickled out in small groups, their counterparts on the nightshift taking over their stations. Kyu started to leave as well, plotting out a mental course towards the aft cafeteria. No doubt Asuka would find her and join her there. Perhaps her fears were unfounded and Asuka would sit down and apologize for avoiding her; citing some problem that she had had to sort out on her own, but now was willing to talk about Kyu with.

 

Ninety nine minutes later, Kyu watched that hope die. Asuka hadn’t shown up. Neither had Mari. Kyu had finished her supper, and then began to scour the ship for the Pilots. Even though the ship in its entirely was immense, and Kyu had gotten lost a few times when she had first arrived. She had quickly learned that people corrugated to certain spots, and she began searching the places that she knew Asuka frequented. Her search was fruitful, and she soon heard Asuka’s voice bouncing through some corridors that had been designated for storage. It was littered with trappings of the old world.  

“Don’t be coy with me four-eyes.” Asuka warned. Kyu noted that she was talking to Mari Makinami. Her voice was at the edge of yelling. Kyu picked up the pace, wanting to see what was going on and to help Asuka if it came down to it. “I know what you’re hiding.”

“And you know the price.” The other pilot intoned. “If you’re willing to do this though, then you really mustn’t care.” Kyu stopped suddenly, deciding against intervening. She could tell that the two of them were just around the corner.

 “It’s better for Kyu this way.” Asuka said. Kyu felt her heartbeat start to increase with her name. They were talking about her. “I don’t think she’ll make too much of a fuss about it.” Kyu leaned against the side of the corridor, among the various pieces of human civilization that were being stored. A stray thought, based on her previous concerns of Asuka tiring of her, came to the forefront of her mind. Was Asuka abandoning her for the other pilot?

She saw the logic in it; while Kyu had never been strictly banned from piloting an Eva, she had no desire to pilot again and the captain preferred Asuka and Mari over her. Furthermore the combined cores of the two Evas responded to their former pilots better than they would for her, Maya Ibuki had explained one day. Effectively, Asuka and Mari were the only two pilots that WILLE had. They spent most of the day together, while Kyu only really saw Asuka in the evenings or at night, with the occasional day which they both had off to spend together. And Asuka and Mari had known each other for fourteen years before that. She had only known Asuka for three months. She had only been conscious for four months. How could she ever compare to Mari when she was like that? There was the sounds of shuffling from the two people around the corner, and Kyu closed her eyes, not wanting to imagine what was going on.

“Well then, aren’t you a real treat Princess.” Mari laughed. Asuka let out an audible huff and Kyu heard her begin to stomp away from Mari, around the corner. Kyu stayed quiet as Asuka rushed past her, catching a glimpse of her flushed face and noticing that she didn’t have her hat on. Asuka treasured that hat, and even Kyu hadn’t been allowed to wear it. Yet even though she should be wearing it, she wasn’t. Mari came sauntering down the corridor a few seconds later, her head proudly covered by Asuka’s cherished hat. Kyu watched the two of them leave the corridor and then walked out of her hiding place. She felt like someone had sucked the air out of the corridor, and she leaned against a dresser for support.

 She could not return to her room tonight. Asuka would be there no doubt. Most likely pretending to be asleep. Ignoring her was impossible. She could not confront Asuka either. If being with Makinami was what made Asuka happy, who was she to stop her? She should be happy for them. But she wasn’t. She could not stand seeing Asuka again, at least not tonight. 

 

Instead, Kyu made her way to the only other person she knew would listen to her problems. The various passages in the Wunder were mostly empty, and she walked quickly with her head down to avoid people on the off chance that someone would want to talk to her. So nobody stopped her on her way to the medbay of the ship, newly repaired from when she had tore it open with her Mark Nine to collect Shinji and deliver him to NERV. She opened the door and Sakura Suzuhara was awoken from her nap at her desk. Sakura’s eyes went wide at the sight in front of her.

“Kyu! You look like you’re about to cry, come sit down.” She rushed forward, grabbing a blanket from one of the beds and wrapping it around Kyu’s shoulders. Kyu let Sakura guide her to a bed, where she sat and stared at the wall. A cup of water was soon set in her hand, and Kyu took a sip, hiccuping as she did. While Asuka was where Kyu usually sought comfort, Sakura shared the unique experience of being too young to really remember a pre-impact world. While the rest of the crew, including Asuka, were fighting to restore the world to what it had been, Kyu found herself siding with Sakura in wishing to move forward from the past. They had quickly bonded over their shared sentiment when Kyu first arrived.  

“Should I get Asuka?” Sakura asked her after Kyu had finished her water. Kyu shook her head without a word. “Is it something that she did?” Kyu nodded. Sakura scowled, pacing in front of Kyu. “You want to stay here tonight?” Kyu nodded again. Sakura took the empty cup out of Kyu’s hand and walked to the back of the medbay. Kyu flopped back onto the bed, her eyes focussed on the ceiling.

The lights above her switched off, and a much less intense light shone from off to the side. She tilted her head to see Sakura returning with a small stack of papers and an electric lamp. She smiled as she sat in the bed next to Kyu, and began to sort through the papers.

“I have some stuff that I have to work on. Inventory and all that. If you want to help, or just talk about something, don’t be shy. I’ll keep quiet if you want to sleep though” She offered. Kyu nodded, thankful for the offer but not feeling like accepting it. Instead she rolled over and closed her eyes.

 

Kyu woke up with a start, feeling slightly sickly from her dream last night. She took a few deep breaths, looking around and feeling the bed to confirm she was still in the medbay of the Wunder. Sakura had fallen asleep with the inventory papers spread around her. She was snoring quietly, blowing one piece of paper back and forth as she inhaled and exhaled. Kyu slipped out of bed, trying not to be too noisy.

“How’d you sleep.” Sakura asked as Kyu touched the door handle. She jumped at the noise, turning around to see Sakura had silently awoken as well. The medic yawned, brushing some papers off of her.

“Not well.” Kyu admitted. The nightmare had completely destroyed any good feeling she would have had.

"Nightmares?” Sakura guessed. Kyu nodded. Sakura swung her legs out of bed, sitting up. For a moment she fumbled behind her, then she pulled out her barret. Shaking it so it was no longer crumbled, she stuck it on her head. It reminded Kyu of Asuka’s hat. That Mari was no doubt wearing right now. Sakura seemed to notice her scowl and raised an eyebrow.

“I dreamt I was being sent back to NERV. No one stopped them. I would be repossessed because of my soul. I am flawed.” Kyu summarized her nightmare to Sakura. Sakura stood up and walked over to Kyu. She put a hand on her shoulder, turning her around. Kyu sniffled, refusing to meet Sakura’s eyes.

“Kyu. Listen.” Sakura commanded. Kyu looked up at her. The look in Sakura’s eyes was one of determination, “There are people here that would never let that happen.” Sakura assured her. “The captain, even if she doesn’t show it, thinks you’re part of the crew. She’d have never let you onto the bridge otherwise. I’d fight for you, same with Mari, even Shinji would. Asuka, Asuka would walk through hell to get you back.” Kyu knew it was true, but it only made her feel worse.  She was guided back to the medbay office.

“Asuka and Mari got together.” Kyu muttered, dropping her gaze again. Sakura broke her contact and pulled out a cup, pouring Kyu some water as she had the night before. Kyu took a long drink, nearly emptying the cup. “I should be happy for Asuka, but I am not. I feel that I am a disappointment.” She confessed. Sakura patted her on the back. Kyu looked at her to see that she was smiling.

“What? No. Asuka and Mari had fourteen years to get together.” Sakura pointed out. "But they didn’t. Instead Asuka stayed with you, comforted you. She wouldn’t just leave like that.”  It was a valid point, one Kyu had looked over due to her initial fears. “We can talk at lunch, aft cafeteria?” Sakura suggested. “I’ll go ask around. See if anyone knows anything.” She gave Kyu a quick hug and stood up, moving to collect the scattered inventory papers.

Kyu finished her cup of water and set it down on the cupboard. She felt better after talking with Sakura, and a small smile crossed her face. She got off the chair and inhaled deeply, closing her eyes and remembering what Sakura had told her. With one last glance and a wave at Sakura she left the medbay.

 

On her way towards the bridge to start her shift, she listened in to the conversations happening around her. Though she didn’t know the significance of the word, Valentine’s Day was the main subject of discussion. She concluded that it was a holiday from the Halcyon days of before Second Impact, that had survived into the post Second Impact world and, it appeared, beyond. Aside from that, the morning was routine for Kyu. After arriving at the bridge, slightly early, she sat down at her station, stared at her screen, and made sure that nothing happened to the Wunder. LIke any other day, nothing happened. There were no scheduled outings for Unit 8+2 either, meaning that Asuka and Mari would have the day free to do what they wanted. Kyu imagined them laughing together at some private joke that Mari had shared. She bit her lip and went back to watching the screen.

She told herself that Sakura was right, that there had been years for Asuka and Mari to become a couple, yet they were not. There was most likely a completely valid reason that Mari had Asuka’s hat that did not involve any significant strengthening of the bond the two shared. On her screen, she started to pay attention to the tiny pulsating fluxes in the Wunder’s AT field. It was quite calming as she timed the pulses to have a frequency of just under five seconds. Her mind turned to the other issue that she was facing, that being regardless of Asuka’s relationship with Mari, Kyu still felt that Asuka was tired of her. She shuffled uneasily.  

“Lunch time. And the night crew was lax last night, I’m giving you the rest of the afternoon off so they can get more familiar with the systems. Dismissed.” Misato ordered. There was a ragged cheer from somewhere on the other side of the bridge of Kyu. Kyu glanced at the time, noting that the five hours of work had flown by. Quietly she got up, ducking out of the bridge and making her way back to the aft cafeteria. Once again, the conversations of the people around her were focussed on Valentine’s Day. Groups were discussing what they had bartered for, or listing names and saying either yes or no after each one. Kyu tried to make sense of it all on the monorail that connected the back side of the ship with the front side, but could not. No doubt Asuka would have been able to explain it to her, but the thought only made her throat clench.

 

When she arrived at the cafeteria, she caught Mari exiting it. Asuka’s hat was still on her head. She was alone, and at the sight of Kyu she waved at her. “Happy Valentines Day.” She called to her.

“That is Asuka’s hat.” Kyu observed bitterly as Mari entered conversation distance. Mari looked up, patting the hat on her head.

“Nah. She gave it to me last night.” Mari retorted, her usual cheshire grin growing slightly.

"And why was that?” Kyu probed, hoping that Mari would give her an answer to the question that had been plaguing her since last night. What was going on between her and Asuka. Kyu felt that whatever had happened for Mari to acquire the hat would be the answer.

“That’s none of your business.” Mari folded her arms across her chest, decidedly not giving Kyu the answer she wanted. “Also Asuka wants to meet you on the flight deck at eighteen hundred hours. I suggest you be there.” She added, then walked away without another word. Kyu watched her go, a feeling of rage building up inside her at her inability to actually confront Mari. Mixed in with it was confusion, mostly from the orders that Mari had relayed. Kyu did not know why Asuka wanted to meet her on the flight deck. She took a deep breath and sighed, walking into the cafeteria. Sakura was at one of the closest tables to the entrance, and beckoned her over. Kyu scanned the busy room for Asuka’s telltale hair, but only saw Shinji. He was behind the counter, working in the kitchen. Their eyes met for a second before Shinji looked away, making himself busy with work.

So Kyu sat down beside Sakura, who was slowly going through her meal. Kyu did not bother to grab her own tray, the past day leaving her stomach feeling wary of any food.

“How’s it going?” Sakura asked as Kyu rested her elbows on the table, leaning forward. A serious expression masked Kyu’s face.  

“I do not know. I am feeling conflicting emotions. Rage, despair, hope. I just saw Mari and she told me that Asuka wishes to meet up with me on the flight deck at eighteen hundred hours.” Kyu elaborated.

“Hmm, that is weird. Even weirder with what I learned. I was asking around and apparently Asuka’s been busy all around the ship these past few days, trading or doing odd jobs for bits and ends. Also today is Valentine’s day. I have no idea what it’s about though. Everyone seems to keep to themselves about it.” Sakura shrugged.

“I hear that it was a holiday from before Second Impact.” Kyu mentioned, remembering the overheard conversations. Perhaps Asuka’s behaviour had been somehow related to this Valentine’s Day, though without knowing what it actually was, she had no idea how they fit. She held back the urge to idly speculate, knowing that it would only make her feel worse.  

“That’d explain it. Just another attempt to reminisce about the good old days.” Sakura commented, scraping some food off her tray and shoving it into her mouth. Kyu agreed with the sentiment, and soon Sakura was quietly complaining about how the people who remembered the days before Near Third Impact were all stuck trying to reclaim that past. It was a soothing topic, and Kyu felt herself relax. Eventually though, Sakura had to leave to return to the medbay, and she returned her empty tray and made her way out the door.

“Merry Valentine’s day, or whatever you’re supposed to say.” Sakura joked in farewell to Kyu. Kyu giggled at the farewell. 

“See you soon.” Kyu replied matter of factually.  She tilted her head, thinking about what the correct phrase surrounding the Holiday was. Kyu headed towards hers and Asuka’s cabin, letting the thought process dominate her mind. Perhaps it was Good Valentine’s Day, or Blessed Valentine’s Day. The cabin was empty when she opened the door. Asuka had been courteous enough to tidy the room up, in contrast to Kyu’s usual forgetfulness when it came to putting things back. Kyu made a beeline to the bed and crashed down on it. It smelled like Asuka. Kyu climbed to the head of the bed, grabbing Asuka’s pillow and holding it against her chest.

Crying was something that Kyu had simply started to do when on the Wunder. As she sniffed Asuka’s pillow, she started to cry from longing. Regardless of the situation with Mari, she still felt that Asuka was tired of her, was abandoning her. There was no other explanation for Asuka avoiding her these past few days. Yet she still wanted Asuka. She wanted to hear her voice reassuring her that she was the best part of Asuka’s day. She wanted to feel Asuka’s arm drape around her when they were eating lunch together, the sensation giving her goosebumps. She wanted to see that Asuka was happy, to see her scowl melt into a smile. As she understood the word, she loved Asuka. That much Kyu could say without a doubt. Though she did not know if the feeling was reciprocated.

Shakingly, Kyu got out of bed and set the pillow down. She needed a distraction to hold her over until it was time for her to leave her cabin for the flight deck and what she suspected would be her last talk with Asuka. She made her way over to their dresser, pulling open the top drawer and bringing out the SDAT player that she had carried through the desert. Shinji had yet to ask that she return it, and Kyu did not want to bring the subject up with him. She slipped the earphones on and fumbled around for the start button for a moment. Instruments that may no longer exist began to play in her ears, and she returned to the bed, staring up at the ceiling and letting the music block out everything else that was on her mind. She mused that that was the appeal that the SDAT had had for Shinji. The classical music on it was intricate enough so she could listen to a single section or even individual instrument each time the songs replayed. She could follow it through the song, trying to block out everything else. So Kyu closed her eyes and did just that, before eventually falling asleep.

She was jerked back awake by the music dying away. Kyu shot upwards, nearly headbutting Shinji. Shinji stumbled back, holding a hand over his chest. “Kyu. You scared me.” He gasped. Kyu frowned, surprised by his presence.

“What are you doing in here?” She asked pointedly. The two of them were still distant, Shinji still not fully accepting Kyu’s identity outside of that of Rei Ayanami, and Kyu not fully forgiving Shinji because of that. He would still slip up on occasion, calling her Rei. She did the best she could to shrug it off, but it still hurt her. And now he was in her cabin, the SDAT headphones in his hands, Kyu hearing the faint notes from the music still playing on them.

“Well, Asuka threatened to punch me in the face if I didn’t tell you to be at the flight deck at six o’clock. I was going to tell you at lunch but I had to finish up cooking and you were gone by the time I looked again. So I searched around the ship and eventually found you here.” He gestured at the cabin. “The door was unlocked, and when I saw you inside I entered.” Kyu nodded absently, feeling slightly disoriented from her sudden awakening. “You still have thirty minutes or so.” He added. Kyu glanced at the digital clock, noting that the display read 17:24.

Quickly she rolled out of bed, standing up and nearly knocking the SDAT to the floor, catching it at the last second. Shinji offered her the headphones, which she took and began to wrap the cord around.

“Is it still working well?” Shinji asked about the SDAT as Kyu wrapped the cord.

“Yes. Do you want it back?” She offered it to him. It was rightfully his, and she would not protest if she did take it. Instead, Shinji took a step back, as if the SDAT was cursed.

“No, you can keep it. Too many bad memories. I think you’d appreciate it more.” He stated. Kyu nodded, remembering the other Pilot from NERV. Then he looked around, fidgeting. “I have to get back to the kitchen. Make sure you tell Asuka that I found you.” He reminded her on his way out. Kyu nodded, standing in the middle of the cabin.

 

Changing into a fresh uniform, a relief after spending two days in the one she had been wearing, Kyu began to walk towards the flight deck at the tail end of the ship. It served as a landing pad for the VTOLs and Helicopters that made up WILLE’s standard air force. Generally people avoided the flight deck, preferring to get their fresh air on the observation decks at the front of the Wunder if they needed any. They had good reasons for doing so. Aside from the advantage of not having to suddenly move in case of emergency take offs and landings, the flight deck was far less safe. It was larger without as many access points to below decks as the observation decks had; and there was no guardrail on the edge that stopped a person from accidentally falling off if they did get too close to the side. Kyu had only ever been there when she had first arrived.

Most of the people she passed were heading towards the front of the ships, almost exclusively in groups of two. They were holding hands or had arms interlocked, talking in hushed tones. Kyu ignored them; no doubt the practice had something to do with Valentine’s Day. She only cared about talking with Asuka at the moment.

Kyu climbed up a small flight of metal stairs and pushed open the door at the base of the aft tower that led onto the flight deck. She was a minute late. With great difficulty she shoved the heavy metal door shut, and then turned around. Near the center of the deck a lone figure had their back turned to her. She immediately recognized the auburn mess of hair as Asuka. Inhaling slowly, Kyu made her way towards Asuka. She debated about whether or not to call out to her. Was Asuka not aware of her presence, or did Asuka know she was here and was merely waiting for her to approach. Kyu waited until she was just a couple meters behind Asuka to say something.

“Asuka. You wished to speak with me?” She asked, impersonally. Asuka’s feet left the ground as she jumped upwards, gasping in astonishment. She turned around, a scowl on her face. Kyu took a step back, preparing for the verbal lashing that was sure to follow. Asuka wasn’t happy to see Kyu, which meant that, as Kyu had feared, they would not be returning to their previous relationship.

Yet when Asuka saw who it was, her face seemed to soften, her scowl turning into a smile. “Shit, you scared me there.” Asuka snorted. “But you got my message then. Looks like Shinji managed to actually not screw something up for once. Sorry I couldn’t tell you in person, I’ve been busy today and you weren’t in bed this morning.” Asuka took a few steps towards Kyu, her smile disappearing. It was replaced by a worried frown. “Are you alright?” She asked, looking up and down at Kyu.

Kyu looked down at her feet, not expecting Asuka to be so kind. Why was she making it harder this way? “You called me here to say you were tired of me, so why ask?” Kyu cut to the point. Asuka stumbled backwards, and Kyu could hear Asuka gasp. Once again, it was not the reaction she was expecting.

“What!?” Asuka exclaimed. Kyu looked up, Asuka’s face was a confused mask of emotions. “Tired of you? Who said that? If Mari thinks she’s being funny then she’ll regret it for the rest of her life. Was it Mari who said I was tired of you?” She demanded to know, fuming. Kyu frowned, not understanding Asuka’s behaviour. Surely Asuka should have been relieved that she would not have to explain this to her.    

“No. No one told me. It was just a logical conclusion for your behaviour recently. You have been avoiding me for the past few days, and been quiet or angry when you were around me. Then last night I saw you in the corridor with Mari.” Kyu explained to Asuka. Asuka’s jaw went slack and she stared at Kyu dumbfounded. “And today I saw her with your hat. You would not give that to just anybody.” Once again she cast her eyes down to the metal deck below her feet. “I understand how you feel, and if that makes you happy, I will accept that.” She concluded, her throat tightening and tears starting to form in her eyes.

“Kyu. I-you-I-That’s-No.” Asuka stammered. “Listen. Just. Just close your eyes.” Asuka ordered, sounding exasperated. That only added to Kyu’s theory. Asuka was exasperated, tired of hearing and seeing her. Yet she followed Asuka’s instructions and closed her eyes. “Now look up.” Kyu tilted her head up. “And open your mouth.” Kyu hesitated, confused by the instruction and where Asuka was leading with them. “Like you’re going to take a bite out of something.” Asuka continued, as if she thought Kyu’s hesitance had been due to her unclarity. Kyu opened her jaw, the tip of her tongue resting just outside her mouth. She could hear Asuka close the distance between them, until she was only a foot away from Kyu. She could hear Asuka fumble around with something that skrich-scratched as she manipulated it. Kyu was about to open her eyes when the noise stopped and a second later she felt a strange weight on her tongue.

It was slightly sweet, though mostly bitter. A food she realized. The mysterious food was a hard block, however the heat of her mouth started to soften it. “Close your mouth and push it around.” Asuka suggested, placing a finger under Kyu’s chin to aid in the former instruction. Kyu began to swirl the food around her mouth with her tongue, enjoying the taste immensely. While the fruits that she could occasionally get from the cafeteria were sweeter, they lacked the complexity that was behind the food in her mouth. Kyu finished chewing, but left the remnants in her mouth to prolong the taste. She opened her eyes, seeing Asuka standing no more than a foot away, looking expectantly at her.

“How’d you like it?” Asuka asked.

“I’ve never tasted anything like it before. It was incredible” Kyu reported, taking an airy breath. “What was it?” She questioned. If she could eat the mystery food all day, she would. A large smile crossed Kyu’s face as she still savoured the aftertaste that it had left in her mouth.  

“That was presumably one of the last pieces of chocolate known to exist.” Asuka proclaimed proudly. Kyu blinked dumbly while smiling, not understanding what that had meant. Asuka gave a soft snort through her nose at the expression. “I’ve been avoiding you because I’ve been busy the last week or so. Wheeling and dealing with people from around the Wunder to get something that Mari might trade her chocolate stash for. I usually had to get up early or stay up late to meet with whoever was willing to swap. Unfortunately I got stuck with a pair of working batteries and couldn’t find anything to trade those for. So I had to take desperate measures. Had to trade her last night.” Asuka crossed her arms, glaring at Kyu. Kyu could see Asuka’s frown twitch upwards as she tried to hide her smile. “That chocolate you had cost me my hat. Worth it for your expression right now though.” She admitted, shaking her head and smiling along with Kyu. Kyu took a moment to process what Asuka had said, and as she did her smile faded. A dreadful realization crossed her mind. She had been wrong.

“You don’t hate me.” Kyu stated. Her entire analysis of Asuka’s behaviour, her preparations for Asuka’s rejection of her, all vanished. She stood still for a moment, silently lamenting about how stupid she had been, then her legs gave out from under her. She stumbled forward, Asuka catching her and hugging her tightly. Asuka’s scent filled Kyu, and her heart pounded in her chest at the familiar and comforting feeling.

“Are you serious? Of course I don’t hate you. I just wanted to surprise you with a picnic for Valentine’s Day.” Asuka’s tone changed as she realized something. “You don’t know what that is, do you?” Kyu shook her head as it laid nestled on Asuka’s shoulder. She didn’t. She had dismissed the possibility that it had anything to do with Asuka’s behaviour. Yet it turned out it had everything to do with that. Asuka clicked her tongue.

“The shortest explanation I can think of is it’s an old holiday where you gave chocolates or some other gift to a person you loved. From what I heard it was all public and open. Mari told me that it was pretty embarrassing; you’d get all these cards and chocolates from people. After Second Impact, and especially after Near Third Impact, it became somewhat more private. People generally just spent the day with someone they loved or mourned for a lost loved one. I guess we don’t talk about it much.” Asuka mused.

“I am sorry for doubting you.” Kyu muttered into Asuka’s ear. Asuka laughed and rubbed her back between her shoulder blades gently with one hand. It calmed Kyu and she smiled. She had mistaken Asuka’s avoidance of her for the complete opposite of what it actually was. Asuka had also admitted that she was doing this for Valentine’s Day, which Kyu quickly correlated as being for lovers. Therefore, her and Asuka were lovers. The thought made her chest almost burst as an unexpected warmth flowed through it.  

“Hmm, we all make mistakes and assumptions, it’s alright,” Asuka forgave her. Kyu felt light, released from the troubles that had been tormenting her. She nestled against Asuka, feeling sound. “I suppose I should have some chocolate, and I also got us some fresh stuff from the gardens. Even some fruit juice.” Asuka broke the hug off, instead slinging one arm around Kyu’s shoulders and leading her to where a red and white checkered cloth was resting on the flight deck. A few dishes filled with fruits and vegetables, as well as a pitcher of an orange liquid, sat on the cloth. Asuka used her free arm to make a sweeping gesture at the picnic. “Hopefully you didn’t eat, because this is fresh food.”

Asuka reached into her pocket and pulled out a small pouch. “But first,” she began, successfully digging through the pouch with one hand to pull out a wrapped chocolate, “first time I’ve had any in fourteen years.” Asuka relished at the thought. She unwrapped the chocolate, and then froze suddenly. Kyu looked over at Asuka, who was staring at the piece of aluminum where the chocolate should be. Asuka’s uncovered eye twitched slightly as she stared at her hand.

“Asuka?” Kyu asked, suddenly concerned for her.

“That double faced four eyed little-” Asuka’s insult devolved into a scream. “She tricked me.” Asuka’s arm pulled away from Kyu, instead being used to root through the rest of the pouch. “She tricked me. That was the last piece.” Asuka turned to Kyu, a very angry expression on her face. Kyu took a moment to understand what Asuka was telling her. Mari had only a single piece of chocolate left, which Asuka had traded her hat for and then given to Kyu. “Are you serious!?” Asuka looked upwards at the sky, shaking a fist at it.

A novel idea entered Kyu’s mind, that would solve the problem Asuka was facing. She took a step closer towards Asuka, sliding in front of her. The weight off her chest was emboldening her. “Perhaps this would help?” Kyu suggested. Asuka looked down to face her with a confused expression as Kyu grabbed Asuka’s shoulders. Kyu leaned in and planted her lips on Asuka’s, closing her eyes as she did so. Kyu had seen people on the Wunder kiss before in dark corridors or doorways, and she had even imagined asking Asuka to try it with her a few times.

Yet she still could not determine how to properly kiss, and initially her lips fumbled, their teeth clattered together. Kyu almost pulled away, knowing that she had messed something up. Asuka took the lead a moment later, taking one hand and placing it at the back of Kyu’s head. Kyu’s mouth opened slightly as Asuka tilted it back. At the same time Asuka’s tongue darted into Kyu’s mouth, pushing Kyu’s own tongue down.

Eventually Asuka broke the kiss, out of breath. Kyu stared at her, trying to gauge her reaction. Asuka wiped a bit of spit off of her lip, returning the gaze as if doing the same. Kyu felt her head swim slightly, the kiss only making her dizzy. Asuka  smacked her lips together, a smile on her face. “That’s chocolate all right.” She confirmed. “Also that wasn’t half bad for a first kiss.” She complimented, raising her eyebrow above her good eye amusingly.

Kyu felt her cheeks heat up at the remark. “I love you Asuka.” She blurted out before she could think of anything that would make her hesitate. Asuka tightened the hug, planting a quick kiss on Kyu’s lips before resting her head on Kyu’s shoulder.

“I love you too.” Asuka replied tenderly. Kyu looked up at the night sky. Though the Wunder’s AT field and floodlights were enough to pollute the sky with light, the occasional shimmer or spark of energy as the field fluctuated was enough to make up for it. It was quite a beautiful night, Kyu thought, and she was ready to spend it with her love.     

**Author's Note:**

> Tried to make it shorter. Failed. Kyu and Sakura being friends is 40% of what I want from the next Evangelion movie. An ending that makes sense is 4%, AsuKyu being canon is 55%, and Gendo getting punched in the face is 1%. 
> 
> Should be posting more things soon(tm)


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